yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
