ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Brb crying the tears of my youth
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
