he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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