If that was your dad, he is hot
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
