Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
