i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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