why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
