Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize