do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize