So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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