Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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