heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
