yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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