Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I touched a dick in church today
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