You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
