sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
