how can u be prego again
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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