why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize