**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
