had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
