Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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