I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
