Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
