there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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