I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Success! We fucked roommates!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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