Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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