So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
sex in a hospital.. check
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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