Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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