Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
