Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
