12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
