You're so nebulous sometimes
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
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