Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
