Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
