she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
