the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
