Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
