I'm really into asian looking animals
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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