I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
