I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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