I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
