Say something about gay babies.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
