She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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