are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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