Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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