I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize