Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
