Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize