Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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