Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
