I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
