god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
