I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
