??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
