well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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