I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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