If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
