some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize