please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
