I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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