i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize