I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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