did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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